The Mercurys this week; The Moose is Loose!

[tsedivy]

First of all, there was no Mercs gig last week. No gig - no blog. That's the way it is so qwityerbitchin.
Have any of you ever noticed the stuff that sits on top of our amps at gigs? There's always a little somethin' on my amp and D's amp. We call 'em amp trinkets. We're a little superstitious and the amp trinkets are part of that. They make things go better (usually). Sometimes they're something meaningful, sometimes it's a toy that D's daughters donate, but there's always gotta be something on the amp. If D or I are on vacation we always bring back an amp trinket for the other guy.
Which brings me to another of my famous tangents; D once went to Mexico (which by the way, is the best place to buy amp trinkets) on vacation. He brought me back a cool stone bull amp trinket, but the best part of that story is D walking along the beach in Mexico, decked out in nothing but a cowboy hat, flip flops, and a black thong. This is not an embellishment - D was seriously rockin' the bannana hammock on the beach in old Mexico! But wait - the best, best part of the story....the locals were afraid of him because as you know, if you know D, he has emblazoned across his abdomen the word DIABLO. They didn't like that shit one little bit! What else would the real devil look like but a creepy little dude in a cowboy hat and thong walkin' along the beach in Mexico? If I didn't know him, I'd be scared too!
So anyway...back to the story at hand. It's been a while since either of us has gotten a new amp trinket. So on Memorial day, I'm settin' up for our gig at the Anchor Inn and I get a call from D. He's super excited. " Dude! I got you a new amp trinket! I'll be there in 10 minutes!" Sweet, a new amp trinket, this is gonna be a great gig!
D shows up a few minutes later with the new "amp trinket". He had stopped for a stop light at 30th and cumming and looked out his window, and there in the street was an old moose slipper. Ya know, a slipper that looked like a moose head. Just one slipper in the middle of the road, real dirty, a hole in the bottom....really pretty gross. Now amp trinket etiquette dictates that even though it's a gross old slipper, you gotta use it at least once, so I stuck it on my amp. We then spent a bunch of time coming up with a story of why this one slipper ended up in the middle of 30th and Cumming and proceeded to dub it the "Crack Ho Slipper".
As soon as the Crack Ho Slipper was on my amp, all hell broke loose. It started pouring rain, the power went out, Ringo lost his ability to foretell the future, everything that could go wrong, did. After a while of trying to figure out what was going on, we realized....the Crack Ho Slipper was cursed. There is nothing more frightening than a cursed amp trinket. We knew we had to be rid of this thing and fast. But what to do? We thought about throwing it in the river. But then we realized, you can't just throw away a cursed Crack Ho Moose Amp Trinket Slipper. Once the evil object has come into the band, the bad juju stays with you. Unless......YES...you can transfer the curse. So, another band (I'm not sayin' who) had thier bus parked behind the stage at the Anchor and we decided, hey if you're gonna leave your bus parked just anywhere, you run the risk of having Crack Ho Moose Slipper curses thrown at ya. Duh! So we stuffed the slipper with an old corn cob we found (I don't know why) and slipped it onto the trailer hitch of the other band's bus. As soon as we did, the sun came out, the power came on, and all was right with the world again. Except I'm out an amp trinket.
Then....I'm doing a gig with Lash LaRue and the Disiples of Doom (which is just St Elvis with me instead of George) on Sat, I'm riding in a golf cart to the stage (you get treatment like that when you're a big star) and I notice the guy driving the cart has one of those little plastic Jesus statues in his golf cart! (I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic Jesus...) Cool!!! I need one of those!! The ultimate amp trinket.
So here's the deal...I want one. The first person who brings me a plastic Jesus this Sat at Downtown Blues, 15th and Howard gets a free copy of the Mercs live cd 13. Even better would be a plastic Jesus made in Mexico so I can call him HEY SOOS.
Just remember, be careful. The Crack Ho Moose is on the loose. Save us Heysoos!!!

ps The next time we saw that bus, the engine compartment was open like something was wrong.

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