The Mercurys: Cheating Death

[tsedivy]

We had another one of those "Life's pretty good, LaRue" moments last week. I got back from my trip and D and I spent a day boating, which brought back memories of the day the music almost died.
Diablo's got this boat. Do I need to tell you it's not just any boat? It's a jet boat from 1976. It's all bright orange and yellow, sits really low in the water, and goes really fast. It's the look of this thing that gets me; it's all 1970's disco pornstar flashy. In other words, the perfect boat for D.
So, living like we do (with seemingly no jobs or other visible means of support) we would periodically go surf Lake Manawa. That's right I said surf. We've got a surfboard, a jet boat and a rope. We're the Mercurys, we dont water ski or jet ski. We surf. (It's a hell of a lot harder than you think to hang on to a rope and get up on a surfboard, trust me. But once you're up, the jetboat wake makes for some good surfin'.)
So, anyway, one day a couple years ago, we talk our buddy Storm into going surfing with us. I probably don't need to tell you who Storm is, he's a guitar legend. So ya got Storm, me, Diablo, ( by the way, 3 scrawny musicians in cowboy hats and surf shorts is quite the sight) and Diablo's girl Melissa, a cooler of beer and stuff, a surfboard and the disco pornstar jetboat. It's the recipe for a perfect day right? Not a cloud in the sky, nothing can go wrong. Right???
(A little background on jet boats; It sucks water in and then shoots it out real fast. That's technical jargon so I hope you're following)
Unknown to us, something has gone wrong with the shooting the water out part of the deal. ( something to do with the....rotary....girder.....yeah I don't know). So we're haulin ass across the lake and suddenly we notice the boat is filling with water. Oh shit. D turns around and guns it back toward the dock. Gunning it is not a good idea since that's bringing more water in that's not getting shot back out. This thing is gonna sink! (Can you hear the music? If I leave heeere tomorrow.....) This is the stuff that happens to musicians, they don't die in rest homes, they die in plane/motorcycle/car/boat crashes. Crap, we haven't even done that cd we've been talking about but probably won't ever actually do. We have no legacy. Musicians who die without leaving something behind don't end up legends, they're just a couple dumb guys who died trying to surf Manawa.
So we're goin' down. I'm grabbing car keys and cell phones and stuffing them in a plastic bag, and trying to find where we stowed the life jackets. D, (in one of only 2 times in 20 years that I have ever seen him lose his cool) throws me this tiny little bucket and hollers at me to start bailing water. Nobody's too worried about Melissa. She's got built in floatation devices, nothin's sinkin' that girl. Meanwhile, Storm had crawled up to the highest point on the bow, assumed the Lotus position, and has begun to compose Haiku about death.
So the boat's goin under, I'm hangin' on to D and yelling "Don't let go! Whatever happens, don't let go Rose...um...I mean, Diablo!!" And then we realize we can stand up. "Um...I mean...cool...we made it. high five bro". The boat sank in like 5 feet of water.
Long story short....6 hours, two tow trucks and a news crew later, we salvaged the disco porn boat from the murky depths of Lake Manawa and have all lived to tell the tale.
The point of the story? We were saved because we had no legacy. Now that we actually have something to leave behind, our days are numbered. And we're still surfing Manawa and other really dumb stuff. So you better get out to see us while you still can, cause I'm positive a rockstar death is still lurking out there waiting for us. your last chance may be....
This Friday and Saturday at Trovatos 50th & Underwood

www.themercurys.us
www.myspace.com/themercurysus